| Rhymes Not Bombs |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|04:34 am] |
Every so often I'll be cruising some article on wikipedia and I'll start reading about a war that happened.
And then I don't want to read it any more. But I can't stop reading it, because how could I stop reading it?
I want to live in the Western Sahara, where there is no war.
That, or the tiny French-Mediterranean country of Monaco. (That picture is it, the entire country is just over one square kilometer)
It's the world's second most densely packed site of my all time favorite thing, people.
And as a bonus every year the whole country shuts down to host a few of the most challenging and prestigious automobile races in the world.
I'm sure the Western Sahara has something like that.
Oh my, I started this post in shock at the horrors of war and ended it getting excited about living in foreign countries, which I think is how wars start in the first place.
Sometimes I think I'm just wasting time. I wish I could just sum up my entire thought process with a single sentence, something like
Make Out Not War |
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| LNIHAD: Last Night I Had A Dream |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|10:24 am] |
Last night I had a dream. Dream Dream Dream
It was a flashback from ...an alternate lifetime where I had grown up in downtown Los Angeles and spent my days hanging out in a mall while girls crushed on me... I've seen this life in a dream before, only this time the world didn't get destroyed. More on that later.
I more or less lived in a mall in downtown LA with my old friend Chris Z who also grew up on an alternate timeline, and also around every day in the mall was that one shy girl I always liked but never had the courage to tell her. She was in the dream, it was nice.
I dreamt of daily life in the alternate me's world, which consists mainly of going about solving mysteries in the mall with C.Z. Our dads both did the same thing for a living, so occasionally we would do a chemistry experiment or something and learn something about our dads' jobs because we plan to have our dads' jobs in the future. Evidently my dreams are not very creative.
The most interesting part of the dream however was the girl. See every time there was a mystery and we solved it, everyone was represented as from a different period of my life, like a time lapse. As we solved one mystery after another everyone got older. This is what made it interesting.
The beginning part I remember was of solving a mystery in the Mall. I don't remember the details but the mystery was either Why Is That Cute Shy Girl Looking At Me Like That or Why Am I In The Food Court Of The Mall. You see, the shy girl would always look me in the eyes in a way that made me crazy but I never had the courage to go up and talk to her. Everything was fine with that though, because we were young enough that it was okay to wait.
Later in the dream I was "introduced" to CZ. He always seems to be telling a good story. The girl is older, and prettier, and looks at me even better. I'm starting to look at her back that way, because I want to let her know. Even in the dream the best I can probably manage is a deer-in-the-headlights look before I realize it and can return the lovely favor her eyes have sent me. But that's okay, because we don't tend to look away from each other, and her eyes are wonderful.
Later in the dream there was a chemistry experiment or something that seemed like one. It was in a room that was like a science classroom in a school, only it was a building in a mall. The mystery there might have been Why Is There A Public Chemistry Room In A Mall and the answer was Science. Occasionally I'd catch a glimpse of that girl, who was giving me real serious looks. I can't help but notice she is looking older, better sure, but also a little tired and frustrated, and she looks that way when she's staring at me, and I'm thinking maybe I've been letting on too long without saying something to her.
Then there was the mystery of What Is The Client Having For Lunch. You see, CZ was telling me this great story about this guy (who happened to be his dad's client) that got him into a lot of trouble around town. As he told me this we were standing across the the food court watching him have lunch with CZ's dad. After he finishes the story, CZ and I both realize at the exact same moment that we need to find out what kind of shit this dude eats for lunch. CZ says, "YES. I KNOW."
We start walking over to where he is sitting, at the other side of a crowd. I get halfway to him and out of nowhere there's the girl, older than before and looking incredible. I had been walking straight at her without seeing her, and now I'm walked right up to her, and she's looking serious, and curious about why I walked up to her, and damn it if I didn't see a little excitement in those eyes.
On account of me walking very determinedly up to this girl and the stunning intensity of the moment, there are people around watching, something that usually matters to girls. So I've got to say something, but I'm frozen because I was really just on my way to look at some guy's lunch. And our eyes are locked into eachother.
Lightning strikes somewhere in the room. All the people are going into slow motion, and their sounds are fading away. She and I are just standing there, looking at each other. The world slows to a frozen stop and is silent. Everything around except her and I transforms to a shimmering gold. I'm still looking at her, and I have to say something. I open my mouth to speak.
Everything goes back to normal and people start moving around us again. I'm still standing there, mouth open. No time seems to have passed. I shoot the first thing on my mind out of my mouth at the girl.
"Oh, Hi. I Didn't See You There... ... ...HowIsItGoing"
She looks disappointed. Her gaze falls, and the serious look is gone like it was never there. Her face flashes with the realization that I was never a real contender, that all the looks were just daydreams, that I wasn't to be taken seriously. She looks crestfallen. I'm standing there, looking at her and seeing all this, and my heart is a solid rock.
She replies... something and walks off. I just stand there. The guy who was having lunch is gone. I think I see some pineapple on his plate. CZ is over at the food place. I go to join him.
We engage in casual conversation as we get our food.
-
I just remembered something. A long, long time ago I used to have a livejournal-like bloglike journal thing that I kept online for this girl, and I was really proud of it. It was from this one good summer I had, an unusually good one, and a strange one. I would post the most nonsensical shit in it, almost totally random shit, but filled with the thoughts and emotions I was having. It was like a slice of that age and that time. The name of the hosting service and the journal are long lost to me, and I wonder if that is a bad thing.
-
Anyway, back to the dream.
Oh yeah, we just got some food. We got this food so we're like walking toward this food room area. We're just like chatting walking in there when I pass right next to the girl and we look at each other. The look on her face is different. She looks wary, concerned and intrigued; young and human. Even though she is older and more mature her face shows a cautious innocence that I remembered from her looks when we were younger. I'm thinking I need to say something.
Nobody is watching us and she's not expecting me to say something like I just walked up to her, we were just passing. I'm not going to just spew some shit out because I have to, I'm going to say something to her out of my own will to do so. It'll be right.
But everything wasn't frozen, or shimmering. As I had been thinking all this, she had been standing there, waiting for me to say something. Time had been flying past. Her look gets deeper, her eyes fill with intensity, and she starts to look away.
And I woke up
I know, right? Short dream. I got like NO sleep last night. |
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| It's called the Limbo |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|03:10 pm] |
Lately things have been pretty plain. Living at my brothers I spend considerably more time playing Starcraft and watching good anime and considerably less doing anything fun. I finally have enough money to get a haircut, and hopefully soon I will have a bike.
November is very Novemberish. I won't be going home to Washington for Thanksgiving and instead I'll be having it here with my dad, but my two older brothers have their own plans so it looks like it's going to be as traditionally uncomfortable as it usually is in Washington. Though it's kind of strange that I haven't seen my dad yet in the four weeks I've been here it will be good to see him and Jan. I wonder if Karen and Roger will be there.
Living in California is threatening to wear away at me while I can feel my daily life getting less exciting and all my energy falling away. Hearing less and less from my friends at home makes me afraid that my only hope for them to remember me is to forget me completely first, but that's understandable. I just miss them.
I need to find some work soon. Clairmont Camera will take me in an unpaid apprenticeship, Otto Nemenz doesn't have and openings yet, the Fox interview still hasn't been scheduled and I haven't heard anything about Efilm. I still have to deal with the bank.
I've got to get out and drop off a resume. Might as well see if I can grab a bike lock off my dad. I'm pretty sure my recent loss of energy has to do with my hermit's diet and exercise routine and it doesn't feel good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWA4s4p7Ttc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWSVgduoQ4w |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|10:26 am] |
Things I have seen in a dream:
1. The best slice of cold pizza from a group of slices is the one which has a grease pattern that best resembles the image of a white George Foreman.
2. A simple recipe for an M&M Milkshake is as follows: Fill a glass to brim with multicolored sprinkles, add milk.
3. Shopkeepers will give you a nice cigarette and a golden lighter if you tell them you're willing to spend $20 on something.
4. Any golden lighter will break into a hundred tiny brass rings, and then you will get arrested.
5. That pretty girl from Ocean Shores hangs out in malls and draws on notebooks. I think she'll find my drawings are really good, eventually.
6. My own name "STEFHEN# B 6EORGE" written out by me. Who says you can't read in dreams? |
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| 2008 Columbia Crest Merlot |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|04:22 pm] |
Over the past two days I have been drinking from a bottle of Columbia Crest Merlot of the (I believe) 2008 vintage, but since then I’ve lost the bottle. I haven’t mastered my palette yet so I can’t report much more than that it tasted like a very soft and muted (almost green-y) Merlot-ish wine. It was very much a Post-Saturday-Night-Halloween-Daylight-Savings-Sunday calmed down Welcome To November of a wine. It felt very characteristically Washington State in that it was quiet and unpretentious, not at all unpleasant but a little unexciting.
That particular wine would pair well with that Marlon Brando movie On The Waterfront or Primer. 80 points. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|01:51 am] |
"The underlying claim behind [the Trilateral Commission and the Bilderberg Group] is that these groups of wealthy men have been working to create the infamous One-World Government that you'll see pop up in most [conspiracy theories]. They want a totalitarian regime that will enslave all of mankind, all at once.
Of course these guys have had decades to establish their plan, but instead they apparently opted for plan B, One-World Clusterfuck. Europe hates America; the Middle East is more fucked than a German whore on coupon day; all China cares about is exporting delicious lead paint; and North Korea is still run by that crazy fucker with the big granny glasses. It's almost as if the result of their "one-world government" conspiracy looks exactly like the random chaos of geopolitical events we've seen for the last few thousand years."
"The interesting thing here is that cumulatively, [conspiracy theorists are] talking about groups--politicians, bankers, big media--that do control the world. But they control it in the sense that a group of squirrels can 'control' how that meatloaf they found the trash gets eaten. It'll get eaten, all right, but the organization is what's lacking." |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|09:44 pm] |
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Somebody stole my phone today, and texted all my contacts. I reactivated my number on an old phone, but I don't have any of my old contacts. If you got a message from me today, it was somebody else. If you want to give me your phone number so I'll answer your calls and return your texts, send it to me. |
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| Thong thong thong thong thong |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|09:54 am] |
It's one of those things that helps you sleep at night and wake up in the morning, the self-assurance that you aren't having dreams about high school. It lets you go through each day knowing "There's good odds that I'm a sane person ever since I never had a dream about high school." And that's important.
So last night I had a dream where I was at my high school which was somehow floating in the sea. Also oddly was a kid called Quinn who was walking with me, a person I distinctly remember commuting on ferry boats with, but who never went to that high school. Also walking with us was Chris, another ferry kid, a guy I remember who was a year younger than me but so many years shorter. Last time I saw them, Quinn was technically shorter than Chris, but it was much more fun to point out Chris' shortness.
Now what I distinctly remember about Quinn was that he always wanted to mack on babes. That's why we got along so well, because I always wanted to mack on babes all the time too. Chris didn't really ever seem to have a motivating interest in macking on babes, Chris liked soccer and things. That's just one significant thing I remember about those two.
Anyway in the dream we're walking around the high school that they never went to but I went to but it wasn't floating on water when I went to it, that high school. We were having a chat walking down from the main entrance past the portable classrooms which were like awesome floating docks coming off the main ship. We were talking about macking on women, I can't remember what we were saying, except that Quinn mentioned "the site of the hug of the day" and I told him I would show him "the site of the kiss of the century". For clarity, no such places ever really existed.
We walked around the edge of the building/ship and stepped into a door, which led into a huge gymnasium that wasn't a part of my school as I remember it. And there she was. It was the first girl I ever "dated" but it really didn't count as dating. So actually I should say it was the first girl who ever deliberately held hands with me and nothing else. I wasn't even in high school yet when I held hands with her. In the dream, she waved at me.
I'm going to break this down so you can see how the macking took massive progress.
Try to imagine, in slow motion, me seeing her wave, and slowly turning, and prentending to catch a kiss that she didn't blow with the wave. Catching it in the air I put it to my lips, took it away and put it in my pocket. She blushed. That's points. Sisqo rings out from the heavens.
This is something like how the conversation took place after that:
Me: What's up?
Her: Not much.
Me: Doing anything after school?
Her: Going home.
Me: Why's that?
Her: Actually I've been having suicidal thoughts recently.
What the fuck. Right now I'm supposed to be thinking Holy Shit right? Like Oh Fuck what do I say now? But this is my dream remember, so I've just imagined her saying that while I was totally macking on her. So since this is completely normal, without missing a beat I'm like
Me: Maybe you should come back to my place instead.
Wow, so like, camera flashes everywhere. You've never been so impressed at a piece of macking. Sisqo lets out with an enduring "WhoooaaAAAAOOOoooh" and everyone's thinking oh my god. Not because I'm blatantly taking advantage of a girl with critically low self esteem, but because of the macking.
And she says:
Her: I dunno, maybe.
That's gotta be points. Actually that's gotta make my strategy the reference for any guy who's planning on macking on any girl... who's suicidal. You couldn't do better if you were in a dream and you had imagined yourself as significantly more pleasant than someone who hits on suicidal chicks, while being followed around by a guy like him (yes Quinn you would) and a guy who couldn't mack on babes if his life depended on it (be honest, Chris).
I woke up shortly after that, sorry but it was only the last bit of my dream that I remember. I wish I could tell you exactly where that conversation went, but that was it and I can't go back to dreaming because I need to get ready for a job interview.
I hope my dream ruined your day as much as it did mine. Happy halloween. |
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| First time hot shot ran away, a floating island was his home |
[Oct. 26th, 2009|12:14 am] |
This city seems to have grown about tenfold in size since the last time I lived here. It seems reasonable to assume this happened because I'm not used to the heat, I don't have a bike, and everyone thought it would be really funny.
There are a few things to get used to. Of course there's the heat, but what caught me off guard is the noise. This town is incredibly noisy anywhere you are at all times of the day and night. When you've just come over from someplace like the northwest you'll get to choose whether you'd rather let the heat or the racket keep you up on a given night, by leaving the windows closed or open. Other nights it's just very loud and very hot, no choice in the matter.
Today I saw Rin Tin Tin's sidewalk star on Vine St. I looked Rin Tin Tin up and found out that Rin Tin Tin was a german shepard.
That was on the way back from breakfast. Yeah, I went out for breakfast. It was my brother's idea to go to the House of Pies. It was also his idea that we walk there. Also, it was his idea that the House of Pies was less than half as far away as it actually was.
So I ate breakfast at around 5:00PM after a two hour walk. It was the first time I felt satisfied after a meal in a long time. I had three eggs, two sausage patties, a half plate of hash browns, seven slices of toast (I won an extra one in a bet), a medium-sized waffle and two glasses of iced tea. Of course, since I finished around 6:00PM, that was the first and last meal I ate today. And of course since we were still two hours of walking away from home, I was hungry again by the time I got there. I'm very much still hungry now.
I'm getting distracted by the idea of food. I should be dutifully reporting to my livejournal on major developments in my life for all posterity with the hope that girls don't find it. Or at least I think that's the idea.
If it is then I'll have to get back on here when there's something to report.
INDUSTRY FORECAST: PARTLY CLOUDY
WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU CAN'T READ THE POST
p.s. I'm the past
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| In this place my blood is colder than the air outside |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|01:12 am] |
Just got the internet.
It's been a week and a day back in Los Angeles. I'm living with my closest brother, Andrew. Things are generally chill. Can't wait to work again.
Sleep is coming back slowly. I had a huge night's rest my first night back and had dream that was so clear and fresh in my memory that I wrote it down immediately and saved it to post here. That might sound really lame, but I've been able to remember maybe one dream every year since I was very little so I was really excited about it. The same thing happened at my elder brother Patrick's house last weekend so I'll write that one down as I remember it, too.
The first dream ver batim directly from the text document where I recorded it that groggy morning:
The dream I had last night was crazy like those dreams you don't get too often.
It started out rock climbing to some jungle ruins being held prisoner by attilla the hun's army, Until we get to the jungle cliff temple where a whole tribe of poison natives and their master acrobat king jump out and start a huge kung fu battle. I saw my opportunity as a prisoner and did some ruinous cliff-to-ruins acrobatics and kung fu'd like a hundred of attilla's guys as well as a lot of the tribe of poison natives. With my improvised help the tribe of poison natives managed to just beat attilla's army, and after dispatching the last handful of poison natives the King was shooting at me, it was a one-on-one acrobatics kung fu match. Even with breaking walls and jump-dodging into hidden rooms and brick-knocking to jump-dodging out over a cliff and JUST hanging on, this motherfucker had me at every turn, and kept shooting out poison natives at me but they were no match for me as I was no match for him. When I was finally taken prisoner I was made to tell the king why attilla the hun's army came to the cliff ruins which was for secret treasure in the ruins I think, and then I find out that this Poison Native King is actually just a Kung Fu master and Rock Climber who was looking for the treasure and befriended the natives. Since I was only a prisoner of attilla and the entire poison native tribe got its ass whooped, the king and I started rock climbing and kicking open hidden rooms in the cliff temple looking for secrets, and I think we met a black-haired girl rock climber who gets into a bunch of unsecured rock climbing trouble and the king and I try to rescue her but take major falls in the process until the girl and I are both like slipping down this vine to our certain deaths and after accepting our fates, as soon as the vines break we fall like 3 feet onto the floor of the temple grounds, we had already fallen so much it was fine. After all this and much deliberation and small secret-treasure-searching revelations like kicking open secret rooms we don't find any treasure and decide we should just leave. In the dream I didn't even think of the fact that I had just kicked the shit out of a fucking hidden cliff jungle temple, basically ruining it's archaeological value, but shit like that's not important when you're in a dream and you're all caught up in rock climbing kung fu.
The mid section of the dream comes in at the tropical beach town below the jungle cliff which is basically a party town but there aren't any parties then so it's chill. There's some tested loyalty shit going on since we don't have any money and there's another dude and another girl and we're all trying to get down with eachother but only the new guy and I have a chance with the girls but we only have eyes for the black haired rock climbing girl, who I think is now a brown haired rock climbing girl. Her hair changes (at one time during climbing she was a blonde). Anywas all the bullshit gets shook up when the kung fu rock climber I met in the jungle (who was pretending to be the king of poison natives) injures himself from a huge fall after trying to go out climbing/treasure hunting late at night because we have no money and he's probably hungry. He ends up having to sell his fake teeth (which originally made him look like a poison native with 3 inch gnarled front teeth) because one is gold and the other is like a glowing blue stone. It's kind of a bummer but I think we sold them and didn't get much money. At the end of the mid part the rock climbing girl gets lost somewhere on the island.
The transition to the third part is this beautiful image of this brown haired girl laying on a beach with this multicolored tide coming in and out over her ragged clothing until she wakes up. I think we found her and it's later and there's a big outdoor party with food and music and a bunch of new characters from the parts of the dream I don't remember well, I'm there and I see the lost girl out by the mixing table talking to some guy. I remember going up and seeing this dude who is like some badass mr. cool who wears a leather jacket and has like a crossbow but she's not even genuinely interested. I'm thinking how can I get this guy to scram so I get up on the mixing table and I swear I figured out the boards in my dream and I fucking bust it out not even knowing what I'm doing, even throwing down some hot freestyle rhymes. Somehow this makes the guy go away but not the girl even though I probably looked like a huge cock jumping on somebody's mixing setup but then I realize she's just noticed the other guy from the town who's going up like he missed her. I'm like distracted and the mixing gets horrible and the dude from the town just like, walks up to the microphone not even doing anything and then like this real cool guy from the town that we knew from the parts of the dream I don't remember comes up, and declares, "Yo I dig the music, like the mixing's alright I dunno but those rhymes were for real let me tell you" and the girl and everybody's looking at the guy from town taking credit for my rhymes and I'm like a pile of shit because he ruined my mixing and I was mixing shitty on somebody else's board, and the last part closes in a crushing second-banana finish. I woke up after that.
That was exactly how the dream went by the way. But it doesn't even come close to the other dream I had. I don't really remember specific play-by-play details about this dream but images of the general ideas are still vivid in my mind since I was determined to remember them.
There were three main parts, the first being the longest but also the one which I remember the least of. What I know is that it took place in what I imagined to be Little Italy in New York City. I lived there, and worked at a restaurant on top of a hill with a long zig-zagging road going down it. There was a beautiful collection of vintage and exotic cars parked in the parking lot, which presumably belonged to the owner of the restaurant.
One night after work walking down the hill I came across an organized street race taking place. It was causing a commotion.
...In the commotion somebody had left a Porsche in the middle of the road, at the bottom. Somehow I knew it belonged to the owner of the restaurant, who was watching from the top of the hill along with everyone else who worked at the restaurant and the customers. So I decided it would be foolish of me to try to drive the car but also probably very fun on that road so I decided to drive it. I opened the door but without a key I was not able to turn the ignition and I thought, wait I could really get in trouble for doing anything to this car, but that road and this car are incredible and I won't ever get a chance like this again and everyone's watching" so I reach under the dashboard, pull out two wires, cross the wires and the engine rumbles to life.
The single lap of the hill road was a sensory experience; I distinctly remember the feeling of the g-forces against my body as the vehicle went around the bends and accelerated up the hill. There was nothing to be heard but the engine shouting and the tires losing grip and the scene was, fittingly, dreamlike.
The next thing I remember was being on a kind of renegade fishing vessel at sea from New York, living with the crew, working on the boat for free passage to Europe. I remember little about the voyage, only a few strange details. I know I spent mealtimes fraternizing with the crew and all other times fraternizing with somebody else, who, during a conversation with the captain, upon looking over the cabin of the ship and seeing an object or a meal with some kind of canned food and a prominent label (which was of uncertain but great significance as it stirred a deep and powerful sense of foreboding upon seeing it), I discovered to be a ghost, and then later specifically remembered the ghost to be of myself from Little Italy, and that I was a different person going to Europe.
After that, the second part of my dream ended, and I found myself in the third part.
The third part was short, but rich and sensational; this I remember. I found myself in a state of great confusion wandering the gray streets of Bordeaux in France at what had to be early in the morning. I was dizzy and stumbling, hearing music echo around me, coming from a huge organized arrangement of lamps on stands that were creating music. I was desperately stumbling around adjusting the light bulbs trying to change the tracks that I heard, which were only weak hip hop tracks that I knew but didn't want to listen to. I became more and more frantic and stumbled away down one street where-- and this is specifically what I found --there was a car pulled up in front of me which I could tell through the windshield was being driven by a certain red haired girl. In the passenger seat was an indian kind of guy who looked gay. The girl wanted me to get in their car and play music and was gesturing for me to do so. She wanted me to get in the middle front seat from the passenger side and as I went over to the door, I thought briefly about how close I would be to the girl, and how close I would be to the guy as I passed by him. I didn't think I was going to be able to select any music for them because I had been having difficulties with music that day in Bordeaux.
And I woke up.
That morning I was roused awake by something. This was the first time I had ever experienced being roused awake from a dream just before something interesting happened in it. Anyways, those are two dreams I've had in California, and if you're somebody who dreams every night and remembers it, I don't like you or trust you and I hope that my two dreams are better than yours.
Yours truly,
Stephen R George, Jr |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|01:51 am] |
Am I so desperate
You've written me over
in tiny semantics
You need me, admit it
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